


friends in low places

by poipletoitle



Category: Magisterium Series - Holly Black & Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angel/Demon AU, Crack, Gen, Jasper's Anime Hair, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Tamara's Flawless Eyebrows, and sassy, call is panicking, eh we'll see, i can't believe i have to do everything myself around here, i love her don't @me, kind of?, like so much so that it's a little ooc but oh well, yeah that's right im finally writing this AU motherfuckers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-13 10:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poipletoitle/pseuds/poipletoitle
Summary: In any other situation, Call would be thrilled to have two gorgeous people fighting over him. In this case, though, he thinks he might have to make an exception, considering that they’re both murderous psychopaths who seem disturbingly into Satanism and bondage.OR: the obligatory angel/demon au in which call is clueless, tamara's a professional badass at age 14, and aaron's just an underpaid intern trying his best.





	friends in low places

**Author's Note:**

> God I can't believe it's 1 am and this is the first thing I'm posting since 2016 who even am I.
> 
> Anyway hello welcome to the AU I've been writing for over a year because the hellscape that is my brain hasn't let me finish it but also hasn't let me give up on it yet w h y. I have like. 65% of it written right now, so while I originally intended for this thing to be like 1 chapter and 10,000 words, I'm going to be posting it in slightly shorter increments so I can actually motivate myself to get this done. Updates are probably going to be super sporadic tho, so sorry 'bout that.
> 
> This is def the shortest scene I have so far but plz let me know what you think!! As always, feedback and comments are greatly appreciated (and if you see a typo seriously let me know that shit is EMBARRASSING)
> 
> Enjoy!

So, here’s the deal: Call’s pretty sure that he’s being stalked.

He doesn’t really understand _why_ , because based on his very limited knowledge, most stalkers are obsessed with celebrities and thus usually have higher standards than 13-year-old boys who limp constantly and have under-eye bags the size of a small country, but here he is. Although, come to think of it, his limp and obvious signs of exhaustion might make him an easier target for any pedophiles looking to kidnap him and then murder him in the woods—

Yeah, Call really needs to stop bingeing Criminal Minds instead of sleeping. It’s not helping him think positive thoughts like the guidance counselor would want him to. Okay; positive thought number one: Call’s stalker probably isn’t a pedophile who’s going to murder him and is instead creepily fixated on Call for other, non-murdery reasons. Great.

While Call’s not exactly sure what his stalker wants with him, or who they are, or why no one else has noticed the fact that he’s being followed, he is pretty damn sure that his stalker exists. So he’s been doing what any other totally sane kid would do: compiling a list of evidence. He is, after all, eventually going to have to tell his dad and then probably the police and convince them that no, this is not just another prank (which, come to think of it, is probably going to be a lot harder after the whole naked mole rat incident a couple of weeks ago. Oh well.)

Anyway. Reasons why Call’s totally being stalked:

1\. Security cameras have started swiveling to follow him whenever he walks into stores or cafes. At first Call just thought it was because of people’s tendency to assume that any kid who isn’t white and wears too many hoodies is Up To No Good, but fifteen times in one day seems a bit excessive.

2\. There’s a really ugly car parked on across from his house that hasn’t moved in two weeks, and it doesn’t belong to any of their neighbors; Call’s asked. 

3\. When he opened his locker last Thursday, all of his papers had apparently shifted overnight and were stacked in way that was actually halfway neat. Which is terrifying, because the last time Call organized anything was _never._

4\. Havoc keeps on waking Call up in the middle of the night by barking and staring out Call’s window at something that, when he gets up to check, is never there. Considering that dogs have freaky super-senses when it comes to detecting stuff like that, Call’s willing to trust Havoc on this one.

5\. Call’s gotten that creepy I’m-being-watched feeling too many times now for it to be a coincidence. It’s a little terrifying, sure, but honestly? It’s mostly just really annoying. It's hard to function normally when he feels like a million eyes are tracking his every move any time he leaves the house. Like when he and his dad went to Walmart last week. Or when he’s at the park with Havoc. Or when he’s walking home from school, like he is right now.

It doesn’t help that the street he’s currently strolling down seems suspiciously deserted for three-thirty on a Monday. He’s walked by at least three shops and even a park, all of which have been notably empty. No cars have passed him for a solid five minutes now. If his life were a movie (unlikely) or a badly-edited comedy sketch (more likely), there would definitely be a couple tumbleweeds bouncing down the road. It’s _creepy._

Call’s trying to not think about that too hard, though, so instead he just speeds up his lopsided walk and mentally goes through everything he has to do once he gets home today. His dad won’t be back from the garage until after six, so as long as Call sets aside enough time to do the dishes before then, he can take Havoc to the nicer dog park that’s a couple blocks farther away than their usual one and—

**_CLANG!_ **

Call bites down on a screech and nearly loses his balance, arms windmilling wildly as he whirls around to face the direction the noise came from. He squints and scans the stretch of road behind him, eyes eventually landing on the alley he just walked by when another, only slightly softer **_CLANG!_** rings out. Call (barely) keeps himself from jumping again, and instead summons every ounce of bravery he has and moves slightly closer to the mouth of the alley. 

“Hello?” Call calls out, exactly like every teen about to die in a B-list horror movie. He nearly facepalms after realizing that, then goes back to warily eyeing the alley. It’s dead silent again, but the feeling of being watched hasn’t faded at all, and he definitely heard _something._

“Yeah, okay, fuck this,” Call mutters to himself, before forcing his feet to move away and in the direction of his house. Weird noises in the middle of a deserted street are definitely bad news. Call should probably just keep walking. It would be the smart thing to do.

**_CLANG!_ **

Call freezes, then turns, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Takes a moment to consider. And, well, he’s never done the smart thing before, so really, why start now? Sure, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, right? And Call is definitely curious about his stalker. Curious, scared, and a little pissed off, actually, which is a great combination of emotional problems that can totally be solved by blindly walking into a shady alley because he heard a strange noise. 

...This is horrible plan.

...Whatever. Call’s going to do it anyway. Maybe he’ll surprise whoever it is and somehow scare them off. Maybe he’s about to get murdered. Maybe he’s being paranoid and the clanging was just a dumpster falling shut or something. Right now, Call is way past the point of caring—he just wants to be able to live his life without feeling constantly on edge, and maybe yell a ~~lot~~ little at whoever is maybe-probably stalking him.

Call takes a moment to wish that he had Havoc with him. Two hundred pounds of massive wolf-dog would probably be enough to warn off any potential threats. Unfortunately, it’s just him and the theoretical tumbleweeds, so instead Call reaches into his lunch box and grabs the plastic knife he’d swiped from the cafeteria earlier today. It’s better than nothing.

He bites his lip, still feeling on edge, then takes a deep breath to steal himself. _Now or never, Hunt,_ he thinks grimly, then braces himself and turns the corner, charging into the alley.

“FUCK OFF YOU… creepy… asshole…”

Call’s voice trails off as he stares into the completely deserted alley. The completely deserted alley stares back. Call slowly lowers the plastic knife he has clutched in his right hand as he watches a Twix wrapper drift across the dirty concrete. Other than that, nothing moves.

He barely has time to think _well, that was anticlimactic_ before something hits him on the back of the head. _Hard._

He’s unconscious seconds later.

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah i have a lot of feelings ab this au and magisterium in general so if you want hmu on tumblr!! https://a-good-book-a-day.tumblr.com/


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